Self Portraits (not selfies because I used a tripod)

ZOELAB DAY 35

To continue on the theme of self, I am sharing some self portraits I took yesterday. The goal at first was to create a new profile photo for facebook (while Lucas was away, he has just returned this evening.) But really, to be really honest, the idea started because I was having  a particularly good hair day, and I wanted to capture the way my hair looked. (A good hair day can sometimes be an equivalent for happiness.) But, because I couldn’t create one I liked for the context of facebook, and I just couldn’t capture my hair. I started to become interested in creating an image for the sake of an image, and in capturing a certain kind of light. I began to let go of my vanity of how I looked in the photo, and then alternately, my fear of being (and appearing) narcissistic, and I started to feel like a character in a spontaneous film. The more I saw myself as someone other than me, the more fun I had with it. I began to objectify myself for the purpose of creating an image. This reminds me of Cindy Sherman’s early work from the 1980’s. I was very influenced by her untitled film stills series and wrote a scholarly manifesto about creating identity as a means of empowerment in the postmodern age, which compared Cindy Sherman with Madonna. In college I also made a lot of self portraits, as girls in college are often want to do. In one series, I created a character who was an androgynous movie star. The photos captured myself in moments in between--expressing an ambiguity of gender, as well as story. Creating those self portraits in college was my way of getting back into acting, which I pursued soon after I graduated.

 

The self portraits that I took yesterday, tell a different story, from a different film. I am not sure what yet, they are experiments. By taking them and sharing them, I am releasing my fear of being exposed in this kind of way.

 


Zoë Dearborn

Zoë Dearborn is here to inspire humans to fulfill our deepest potential and highest purpose through her philosophy that combines spirituality, psychology, the arts & education, using her original songs, classes, essays, videos, dance, events, poems, talks & stories. She holds an MA in Counseling Psychology & Expressive Arts Therapy from California Institute of Integral Studies and a BA in Studio Art and East Asian Studies from Oberlin College. She spent her first thirty years in Brooklyn, and now lives off the grid, in the desert, with her husband and seven year old son in Southern Baja, Mexico.

http://www.zoedearborn.net/
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The Slow Making of a Dream Part Two: First Phase of Building

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The Self