How did it get this way?

ZOELAB DAY 52

The freedom is inside, the outside is a mess. The life I see before me is not the life I ever imagined. It surprises me daily with its fiction, its ability to tell stories.

Don’t worry about me. I’m okay. I still have nothing. And that’s everything. Embracing what I don’t like is a new exercise that brings the same kind of comfort that rocks bring.

A transformation from city mouse to country mouse where the city mouse lives inside the country mouse. And this little mouse is busying herself. She is still making her nest. She’s surprised at how long it takes, by how far she has to go to find the right materials. She busies herself and then she rests. She rests for days. And after the dreaming, she is back at it again.

How strange to have lived a life so far away now. How beautiful to be suspended between memory and newness. How comforting to rediscover beauty.

It is said that deliverance is dead. I say let death deliver us.

Let us be delivered. Let us be returned to our own hearts who cannot hear unless they are heard. And cannot be heard unless they hear.